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Showing posts from October, 2018

Pain

I have not been able to articulate the pain I’ve been in. But today, I’m going to try. Someone asked me last week how I was feeling... if I felt like I was “getting better.” To clarify, I don’t know what the hell “getting better” is supposed to mean, but I felt like I could be honest with this person. “I’m surviving,” I said. My heart is broken, my brain is in 87 different places all the time, and I have no idea what I need. How do you articulate that to people when they ask what’s wrong? Can you? Today, I decided I wanted to try and articulate pain. Or at least my pain. So, to start, pain is retelling the story of your rape over and over again in the hopes that people will understand how we cannot nominate a sexual predator to the highest court in the country. Pain is watching that man be appointed to the Supreme Court anyway. Pain is not knowing the status of your relationship with your partner. Pain is missing someone so badly that there is a persistent knot in your