Forgive (Reprise)
I've written about forgiveness before. I have previously written about what it's like to forgive someone for doing something unthinkable to you. And now, I'm going to do the opposite. I’m going to write about what it's like to not yet forgive someone. This is a painful topic. Which, I’ve been in pain, so here it goes. I have said before that I have often felt an immense amount of guilt for not partaking in the forgiveness process, especially in reference to my relationships. I've forgiven most people who have wronged me, from the bullies in middle school to my rapist in college. However, this time is different. Forgiveness is gut-wrenchingly hard. It is so deeply challenging that, most days, I cannot even fathom it. My old beliefs that forgiveness equates forgetting sneak into my psyche often these days, as if to forgive means to forget the pain I've endured. And on a lot of days, forgiveness would require a key step -- forgiving myself. Forgiv