Lonesome
I often want to feel less. Most of the time, actually. I have, generally speaking, been too much my entire life. I feel too much, say too much, do too much, and sometimes, I think I probably love too much. It's the double-edged sword you face when you wear your heart on your sleeve, yet desperately seek to show less emotion, to feel less. It's not that I find this to be an inherently bad quality within myself. I think it results in a little more pain, but also more love. Sadness, but benevolence. I was speaking with a friend the other day about what it's like to begin to date again after a breakup. I'm exactly a year out from my breakup. I was in a relationship for five years, so it took me much longer than I had planned or was prepared for to be in a comfortable place to date again. This friend had asked me how I knew it was time to start dating again after this breakup. I told them it was a feeling, an instinctive notion within me... I just knew. I had done al